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GREEN ROOM (2019) - 16mm

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/noun/
1. a room in a theatre or studio in which performers can relax when they are not performing.

Green - the color of life, nature, renewal, rebirth, emotional safety, my birthstone (emerald), my first favorite color

2019 was a significant year of growth for me that was largely focused on my mental health and wellness. In the past, I’ve retreated when faced with my depression and/or anxiety, not knowing the right ways to acknowledge and address it. In isolation, you spend a lot of time alone with yourself and your thoughts. While this space can allow negative feelings of yourself to fester, it can also be a chance to be exceptionally introspective and get to the root of whatever issues may have been left disregarded, or even just to work on learning to love yourself the right way. It is a conscious decision to be gentle and think gently with/about yourself.

For my first 16mm film, I wanted to explore the visualization of this concept and how it pertains to my own experience with my mental health.
When I proposed my concept to my professor, which included building a set, she told me that it was an ambitious idea but could be executed well. Ambitious is not a word I shy away from.

I integrated visuals and audio from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (1951) to support my representation of what it feels like to fall down this mental rabbit hole and become comfortable in one’s isolation.

This film stars Macy Hudson, my beautiful and wonderful actress and friend. I extend a special thanks to her for her patience and cooperation during the development of this project.

As daunting as it is, I urge everyone to be reflective on their own mental health and start that conversation between you and yourself or someone you know who may be struggling with their own. Make mental wellness a priority.

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