Why do we sit? Why do we practice?

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This video is one from one of my Guided Meditations on Tuesday, July 7th. In this meditation, I address a question several people have been asking me lately, and it does seem to come in cluster. Why do we sit? Why do we do this practice on a daily basis?

For me, it’s simple. We sit In order to practice reminding ourselves how we want to be in the world, how we want to show up at any given moment, how do we want to breathe and to life. We sit to remind ourselves that we are not our thoughts, we are not our sensations, we are not all the stories we tell ourselves or have been told about ourselves.

When I was a teen, I was bullied, criticized, laughed at, called names. I still remember the time one of the football players tried to run me over with his truck, or at the very least, just tried to frighten me. His girlfriend, one of the cheerleaders, who happened to be a good friend of mine, pushed me out of the way and screamed at him. That was the typical pattern, which caused a great deal of cognitive dissonance. I would walking down the halls in high school, arm in arm with some of “girlfriend,” usually the popular girls, and we would walk past a group of guys who would snicker and sneer slurs in my direct. In my improved memory, my companions would dramatically pause with some flare, turn on a dime, laugh and shake their heads at those boys, then turn back to me, grab my arms lead me away. Despite that support, I was still in the closet and those stories being told about me became deeply ingrained in my psyche - I was freak, abnormal, unnatural, and the worst of all, unlovable. So at 16, I tried to take my own life. If these stories were true, if I would never find love or happiness, then what was the point?

Looking at my life now, at least that facet of my life, my sexual identity, is no longer connected with my sense of self-worth. And still I struggle. In its place, and perhaps due to age, the question of worth and value has shifted towards my work - have I done anything that really mattered? Have I helped anyone? Have I been of service? Fortunately, my years of practice have trained me to pause, breathe, and examine those thoughts for what they truly are - conditioned thoughts that arise and fall in my consciousness. Through practice I have been able, at times, to observe those thoughts, to step back and be the observer of those thoughts, which means they are an object. The question that often helps me in those moments is: Who is the “I” that is observing these thoughts?

In this guided meditation we focus on our heartfelt wish for ourselves. What is it we truly wish we to believe, know and feel about ourselves? Such as, I am worthy. I am lovable. I am enough. The moment we speak these wishes, our habitual, automatic negative self-narratives often pop up, telling us the reasons we do not deserve to believe these. We cannot eliminate these thoughts. Trying to eradicate them from our minds only empowers them, suggesting they are actually worthy to debate. They are merely thoughts, stories, narratives. The task for us all is to welcome them, acknowledge them, then recognize that we do not need to fall victim to them by following them.

So let’s sit. Let’s practice. Let’s cultivate the skill of observation.

Remember, you are not your thoughts, you are not your negative narratives.

You are worthy, deserving, lovable!

May We All Be Safe.
May We All Be Healthy.
May We All Live with Peace.

And… May We All Go Gently, Knowing Our Goodness

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