VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Play, download and edit the free video Lessons in leadership 3: Leading is not controlling.

�She was scared, anyone could see it. Her body was tense as she reached up further on the reins to slow him down. Yelling “whoa” and pulling as tightly as she could hoping he would decide to do what she needed and stop. He didn’t, as she pulled, he turned his head into his shoulder and threw up his back end with force. She went flying off that horse on to the ground that day. �Upset that the horse didn’t do as she asked, she yelled at him with great emotion. He in turn, shut down. Shut her out. We have been trying to control 1200 lb. horses with force and micro-management since the beginning of time, even though we have all seen less than desirable outcomes. (Even if it was from the movies.)
As much as we try to hold on tighter, most of the time what we need to do is let go. We keep such a tight grip because we think it allows for control of the outcome, it doesn’t. Much like a horse that is experiencing too much pressure, people have thresholds of how much they can be controlled given any one task. �As a leader, our job is to figure out the least amount of guidance that is needed for the employee to learn and grow. If there is ever a question of how much guidance to provide in terms of managing a delegated task, start with the least amount and adjust from there. There is no magical formula, every person is different, and every task may require a different level of leadership support.
Let’s go back to our story about the horse. There are many training aids that have been used over the years to teach horses how to “respect” the human and make it easier for humans to dominate them. Most of us have seen them. Bridles with metal bits, reins attached to bridles, heavy saddles, sharp spurs, the list of things to “teach” horses how to accept humans is endless. �Used independently and with skill each tool has value. Use them together or in the hands of someone that is not skilled, and you will have a bit of a rodeo. All these things are to avoid the horse making mistakes in the first place. If mistake is made by the horse, the trainer swiftly uses pressure until the horse does what is being asked and then pressure is released. Traditional methods. Micromanagement. Control. Does this work? Sometimes. Is it the best way to build supportive leadership habits? Probably not.
So, how do you ride a horse without so many tools? You give up a lot of control. Horses are prey animals; they understand emotional cues and body language better than humans. That is their language. So, if you take away all the tools and strip down the basics of communication, it comes down to one thing. Trust. It’s not about respect, it’s about trust. When a horse trusts that you have their back, you don’t need tack rooms full of tools to control the outcome. You need to be able to pick up on subtle signs of communication. �Allowing mistakes and gently correcting, if necessary and ALWAYS resetting to neutral, grown zero.
The same is true for those who you have delegated tasks to, usually, less is better. Controlling employees or partners through tasks that YOU have given up will do nothing to build your trust bank account with those people. Not only are you training your team to be dependent on you, but they will eventually lose their own autonomy and innovation motives. If that happens, people will become disengaged and will not longer feel the need to go “above and beyond” what is required in the position. Micro-managers will typically have a higher turnover and lower employee satisfaction.
�Want a happier team? Let them do their job. Don’t plan the mistakes by controlling every little thing, let mistakes happen and supportively guide the learning. That’s what leaders do. That’s how people grow. That’s where the trust happens.

See ya around the neighborhood! �

Download, play and edit free videos and free audios from Lessons in leadership 3: Leading is not controlling using RedcoolMedia.net web apps