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OUDROZE | ANTIQUE PINK @ Ernst Coppejans 2021

ANTIQUE PINK

Lionel

70 years

1951, Paramaribo Suriname / worked as a nurse / psychotherapist

‘I longed for a place where I could be myself’

‘At the Boy Scouts in Paramaribo I fell madly in love with a boy. I was about twelve years old, and I was really terrified. Sexuality was a taboo, especially homosexuality. Growing up, I searched for information about sex in books. It said that homosexuality was a disease and an abnormality.’

Dogs
‘When I was young, I heard noise and dogs barking in our street. I was a young boy and I looked out the window and saw Wimpie running for his life. He was attacked by neighbourhood boys. I knew it had to do with his homosexuality, and that I was that too. It then became clear to me what could happen to you if people knew you were gay.’

Big parties
‘More positive things also happened. We lived in the centre of Paramaribo where there was a large building for associations. Women's groups held their parties there. Later it turned out that they were lesbian women who danced with each other. I went to sneak a peek and saw things happening between the Creole women.’

Panorama
‘I still remember well that I saw the magazine Panorama from - I think - May 11, 1968. It contained an extensive article by Hans Auer about the COC (a Dutch LGBTI organisation), homosexuality and equal rights in Holland. That’s when I thought: I have to live there. That is the place where you can be yourself and where ‘this’ is allowed and possible. I saved that Panorama. And I did my very best at school, because then you could go to the Netherlands.'

A place to be myself
‘I arrived in 1971. I lived with an aunt and uncle for a little while, but when they found out that I had homosexual contacts, I ended up on the street with all my things. Fortunately, I already had a job and was able to rent a room in The Hague. The Panorama contained the telephone number of the COC. When I called, I was referred to the nightclub Zodiac in The Hague. I walked back and forth in front of the door endlessly. Once I stepped inside, a whole new world opened up for me. It was so much fun. Men dancing together. Exactly what I always longed for: a place where I could be myself.’

Lonely
‘In The Hague I joined the HIGH, the Hague Interaction Group for Gay Youth. They were talking about gay rights while I was still in the middle of a process of self-acceptance. I struggled with the combination of being gay and Surinamese-Hindustani. I was the only black person and was very lonely. I felt a double discrimination: from the Dutch because I'm Surinamese, from the Surinamese because I'm gay. After 1975 an influx of Surinamese people came to the Netherlands. They got a bad reputation, they were considered ‘lazy’ and ‘profiting’. What irritated me was the loud mouth of the Surinamese about this discrimination, while they discriminated themselves as well.'

Coming out
‘In 1973 I had my coming out with my parents who were on holiday in the Netherlands. They were stunned but accepted it almost immediately. To my then boyfriend, my mother said that same evening: “So, then you are my daughter-in-law.” I have now been together with Bert for 44 years. During weddings and parties in the family, we slow dance with each other. We can feel the stares, but it is a statement: we are just as normal as everyone else, and we have the right to dance like this.’

Suho
‘In 1980 I went to the Social Academy and then I started working at the Riagg (Dutch ambulatory mental health services). There I set up a support system for gays and migrants. During that period, I also started Suho, the first Black Surinamese gay emancipation group in Europe. Black, white, young and old; everyone was welcome. The Antilleans and Turks joined in. Unfortunately, the AIDS epidemic arrived. People fell away and there was a lot of fear. It became quiet and Suho fizzled out.’

Mikel Haman Award
‘Until last year, when I received the Mikel Haman Award as a co-initiator of Suho, during the Kwakoe festival. A lot has happened since then. I am invited for lectures and presentations throughout the country. I like that, it's a bit of recognition for my lifelong commitment to equality.'

stichtingopenmind.nl/oudroze

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