Matyldas Fourth Birthday

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This is a special gift for a special family, to celebrate Matylda's 4th Birthday

�: Gone To Soon by Daughtry

Read more about Matylda's Story:
"I am Jana, Matylda's mummy. Matylda was our third long for baby and her pregnancy was very joyful, healthy and apart from bit of tiredness and light early sickness pretty straight forward; all until 20 weeks scan but even then there were only slight concerns with very good odds. That day we also found out we're having a little girl, but Matylda had choroid plexus cysts on her brain, these are tiny fluid pockets and can be part of babies development. In the vast majority of cases, the cyst resolves or disappears and has no consequences. However in 1 % babies there is a chance or indication of a chromosome disorder called trisomy 18.
I have never heard of this 'Edward Syndrome' also known as trisomy 18 ever before. Trisomy 18 is rare. It is present in less than 1 in 3,000 newborns. I was worried yes but surely my baby was just fine!? Two days after my big scan I went to Ulster hospital foetal medicine for a rescan, expecting someone to tell me everything is ok and I can get on with my life and pregnancy. Matylda looked very active and happy but our consultant had bit of concern about her heart and therefore besides getting more worried got referred to cardiology scan at V Royal hospital, it took 4 long weeks before I got an appointment and as I couldn't wait any longer and wanted a peace of mind had an amniocentesis done back at the Ulster hospital at 24 weeks pregnant, this was done on Thursday and I was anxious to hear the good news.
But they never came, on the Monday 30th of November my life felt apart. I got a call from my consultants midwife saying she had made and appointment for the next morning for us to come in, I knew it was the worst results we could hope for.
Matylda seemed very much happy inside my little bump gently dancing her evening and usually middle of the night away. Her movement was never strong but we knew she was only tiny as slowed down on growth and she was safe in there, I tried very hard and eventually started enjoying my pregnancy and my little girls presence again. The heart scan confirmed defect very common with trisomy 18, but her heartbeat and blood flow were strong enough. Strong enough to hope she'll live for a little while as little as that can be and although we were given minutes or hours by max with our little girl, and I tried not to have any expectations I really didn't ever expect she will not survive the earth side.
We agreed with our antenatal care to go for induction at 38 weeks, On the 28th of February 2016 I was admitted into the bereavement suite at the Ulster Hospital where I was inducted but Matylda wasn't to come out that easy, she was still quite happy dancing in my belly. Next day my waters were broke at lunchtime and I was put on a drip, somehow Matylda has done a little flip and was now feet down, but I was assured I can do breach delivery no problem, althought straight away opted for epidural. All happened quick from then on and Matylda was born on the 29th February 2016 at 17.01 weighing 3lb 10oz, she was sleeping and she was just perfect.
All my friends and Matyldas siblings came by that evening to celebrate her birth, it was the only chance to get to meet her and get some precious cuddles. We got to spend 24 hours with her and say our goodbyes, the hardest thing I ever had to do, hoping to the last minute she will just open her eyes and cry, but instead part of me had died with her and my world has stopped.
Now life is different, I live a life 'after Matylda' and although its full of sadness, pain and anger it's also full of happiness and joy, love, gratitude and laughter its a real emotional storm, but its still different, its missing something, someone...
Love you forever my little darling xxx"

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