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“Meatball,” is a direct response to Dr. Ford’s silencing and the frequent silencing of sexual assault victims. By forcing spaghetti, meatballs, and wine into my mouth, while simultaneously gagging on a sex toy commonly used in power play, I embody the struggle against dominance. The ball gag, and minimally expressed external struggle, gives me an object to rage against, while most of the movement and struggle happen in the invisible space behind my teeth and down into my throat. My fury and sadness reach their penultimate when I cry quietly for a moment-featured in this clip-and then, break the fourth wall and stare into the camera.
A social space under scrutiny comes from “Lady and the Tramp,” and dating culture. In an iconic scene, a meatball is pushed across the table as a romantic gesture and social lesson. My performance transforms the romantic dinner date, into a hellacious and voyeuristic nightmare. In the first shot of “Meatball,” one can see that I am well dressed and manicured. I then destroy this initial impression with the challenging and emotionally exhausting task of consuming what is in front of me. Notably, while I am not opposed to sexualized readings of my work, I firmly believe that I have a right to hold a sexual identity that does not discredit my intellect and works.

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