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Nonsense Doctors Used To Know

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Sung to: tune of: "Somebody That I Used To Know"
Parody Copr. 2014 C. Garvey
Original from which parodied:
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
The Gotye original is musically & visually beautiful, and you should see & buy it at:
List of Stuff Doctors used to know:

- Vioxx is a harmless drug to be used for pain relief and reducing inflammation for patients with osteoarthritis, menstrual pain, and rheumatoid arthritis, approved by the FDA in 1999 [causes death].

-Low-salt diets are better [but low sodium levels can kill you].

-We need Low-fat diets [But sugar is much worse than fats].

-High-fructose corn syrup is better than sugar [A friend of mine lost 30 lbs. by by simply avoiding high-fructose corn syrup].

-Artificial sweeteners are better than sugar [They are toxic and don't help weight loss].

-Sugar is a good source of calories [But it killed animals that farmers tried to fatten on it].

-Vaccines are safe & effective [But See: autism, ADD, peanut allergies, Guillain–Barré syndrome paralysis. I've met at least 6 people who contracted Guillain-Barré syndrome shortly after vaccines].

-Ritalin is good for children.

-Take anti-depressants to feel good [but SSRIs have caused suicides and mass murders].

-Cigarettes are harmless.

-Bleed out ill-humours [Killed George Washington, among others].

-Patented opiates are less addictive [Until the patent expires, at which point they discover that opiate is just as addictive as the last one].

-Tranquilizers for a better life.

-Anti-cholesterol drugs help you live longer. [But they increase mortality. They destroy your liver. And your brain, nerves, & muscles are made of cholesterol. Exercise without cholesterol doesn't build muscle. Your heart is a muscle.]

Ulcers are caused by stress [Helicobacter pylori bacteria cause ulcers, see].

- Brain cells don't re-generate [They do regenerate].

-Gun ownership is an epidemic [But banning gun ownership increases violent crime.
Most 20th Century murders were committed by governments against disarmed victims.]

-Take iron if an illness makes you anemic [anemia kills viruses].

-Reduce fever with Aspirin - [But fevers kill viruses. So does anemia.]

-Acetaminophen (Tylenol) is better than aspirin [It's easier to overdose and die from acetaminophen.

-Take anti-histamines for a cold [anti-histamines prevent mucus from rinsing away germs].

-You don't need vitamins.

-Fluoride is good for you [It's a toxic industrial waste product. The Nazis gave it to conquered populations to make them stupid and docile. And it's linked to cancer.]

-Slash-burn-or-poison to cure cancer.

Avoid exertion; don't sweat.

-Oral herpes is a completely different virus than genital herpes [not true].
-Put some weight on.
Get thinner.

-Horse estrogen is a good substitute for human estrogen [Premarin increased risks for heart attack, stroke, blood clots, and breast cancer].

What other things, that all doctors (without supporting data) "knew"" will science disprove next??

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